Kissing: Old School Kink

ImageThe first time two people kiss is usually memorable. Sometimes it’s awkward, sometimes magical… and if you’re lucky, it’s damn hot. With any luck, it also doesn’t involve being walked in on by parents, small children, ex-spouses or members of law enforcement.

Kissing is a lost art, in some ways.

Over the years, as North American society has become more sexualized, kissing someone on the mouth seems like no big deal in comparison to other things people openly talk about. How can the mystique of a kiss compare to Ten Top Blow Job Techniques That Will Drive Him Wild?

As a kid I remember agonizing about where I was supposed to put my nose if someone ever kissed me – little did I realize that with a nose as small as mine, it’s a non-issue. Now I’m not sure what young girls wonder about, in terms of sexual expression, but kissing probably isn’t even on the radar.

To me a kiss, in some ways, is more intimate than sex. You’re in the person’s face, breathing their air, tasting their gum. It’s hard for a kiss to be impersonal, if it’s done right. It can mean the difference between a quick fuck and an emotional connection that inspires you to do great things. Maybe, if you’re lucky, it helps you find extra meaning in your daily life.

As a writer, I tend to give a lot of attention to kissing and eye contact – because I’m kinky like that.

Excerpt from The Dom with the Sex Zombies by Sorcha Black – Spring 2014:

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Her gaze roved back up to Winter’s bottom lip and the two rings there. The stainless metal piercing the soft flesh was a sensual violence that kept drawing her eye. Up close she saw small circular scars here and there on Winter’s face, where other piercings had healed over. Now there was only the two in her bottom lip, her septum and one eyebrow pierced. She’d had more metal at some point.

“What are you looking at?” Winter smirked.

Before she could stop herself, Saya reached out and brushed a finger over a few of the other girl’s tiny piercing scars then realized what she’d done and wrapped the rogue hand back around her glass. “Do you have a lot of scars?”

Winter didn’t look angry, instead her body had thrummed with tension under Saya’s hand. “A few. More piercings than scars though.” Her voice deepened and she inched closer. “I don’t think you’re prepared to see them.”

“No?” Saya whispered. “Why not? Are they really extensive, or… just in sensitive areas?”

She was closer yet, their faces almost touching and her breath tickling Saya’s cheek. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Saya couldn’t think of anything to respond with, so she just stared back into Winter’s eyes, the pale, eerie blue seeming to see right through her.

“You’re very pretty.” Winter’s voice was hushed, hypnotizing. Have you ever kissed a girl, Saya?”

She shook her head minutely. “No.”

Winter leaned toward her and in a panicked moment Saya tried to move back. A familiar hand tangled into her hair and gripped her firmly, the dominance of it making her nipples instantly hard.

“Stay,” Ramsay growled.

siggysorcha

Interview with America’s BDSM Expert!

I’m so excited to have on our blog today, Dr. Charley Ferrer, America’s BDSM Expert!

Dr. Charley is hosting BDSMCON 2014 that Me (Leia) and Sorcha are attending, speaking at, and signing at next August. She has years of experience and knowledge as it pertains to BDSM and she’s here to share it with us!

Below are a few questions readers had asked her to answer, which she has graciously done. She’s also offered to pop on and off throughout the day and answer other questions you may have in the comments! So please read on then leave a comment with your question or thoughts!

From Dr. Charley…

Hi Leia. Thank you for having me on your BADASS BRATS blog. I’m thrilled to join you and your readers. Below I’ve responded to the questions posed. I invite you all to contact me with further questions or comments.
1. The normal ways women might orgasm don’t work for me. I need some pain and then it feels like I just explode. Is that weird? Is there something wrong with me?

 

There’s nothing weird about you and it’s perfectly normal to enjoy a more “primitive” connection with your orgasm. It places you in the “kinky” category. How far into it you go and explore is up to you. Everyone experiences their orgasm and climax (for men) differently. Some enjoy receiving a little pain or a little fear that makes their heart beat faster and their thrill heightens the sensations. Others enjoy giving their partner that thrill. It’s perfectly normal. Like people and roller coasters. Some like them. Some don’t. My advice; find a partner who will enjoy the thrill with you and even heighten it a bit more.

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2. How would you recommend a woman find a partner in the lifestyle safely whose kinks match up with hers?

Dating in the BDSM world is like dating in the Vanilla world—you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince or princess. The great thing about the BDSM community is we’re willing to talk about our desires and needs. Though there really is no “perfect” partner for everyone, there is someone out there you can come to love and accept as they’ll accept you and all your quirks.

When dating anyone, ensure to ask around about them. If you don’t already belong to a BDSM organization in your area, I would highly recommend you doing so. This will help you find like-minded individuals and be a great support for you as you grow within the kink community. Plus, they can tell you stories about the person you’re interested in. Whether he’s a true Dominant or submissive or someone they’ve never seen before. It’s not uncommon for men to lie about being a Dominant. Unfortunately, some submissive women seeking a Dominant find an abuser instead. Hence, the need to learn about the naked truths about lifestyle and use good judgment. If it feels wrong to you, don’t do it. Ask around. Find other kinksters. Join my BDSM Teleseminar and Private Group Forum. It’s the perfect place to learn. http://www.bdsmforwriters.com/BDSM_Group_Forum_Readers.html

It’s also a good idea to fill out a BDSM Checklist for yourself and have your perspective partner fill one out as well. This will give you an idea of what you (and they) desire. At the very least it’ll let you know if you’re in the right ballpark. Don’t worry if you have no experience or are just starting out. The BDSM Checklist I’ve created allows you to note if you’d like to try something and whether or not it’s exciting for you. As you grow in your awareness, desire and experience, you may find that what you thought you’d enjoy you don’t and what you feared now thrills you. I always recommend completing a new BDSM Checklist every six months to a year.

You can sign-up for a free BDSM Checklist on my website BDSM for Writers http://www.bdsmforwriters.com/Conference_Newsletter.html.  Completing this list will help you determine what you’re looking for in a partner. It’ll also provide you with ideas on what scenes you can enjoy together.

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3. Is there really such a thing as a switch or does that just mean I’m confused?

A Switch is someone who enjoys both sides of the whip. They can be submissive or Dominant. However, they tend to lean more toward one way then the other when with certain people. For instance, with a submissive, they may take on the Dominant role and visa versa. There’s nothing wrong with being a Switch.

I always recommend individuals learn more about the lifestyle and its nuances. I’ve written two books on Dominance and submission, BDSM The Naked Truth and BDSM for Writers. These books provide you with valuable information to help you navigate the depths of this uniquely erotic and often misunderstood lifestyle. It also provides you with valuable information on resources within the community, both online and live.

I want to take a moment to personally invite you to next year’s BDSM WRITERS CON being held August 21 -24, 2014 in New York City. This conference is for everyone interested in writing about or exploring the world of Dominance and submission. This one-of-a-kind conference is the first of its kind. Joining authors and readers in their mutual desire for romance and D/s thrills. With over 40-hours of programming, it’s the perfect place for someone who’s just learning about BDSM to come explore in a nice safe environment. Plus you’ll see Live Demos on various aspects of Dominance and submission such as flogging, mummification, and Edge Play; and talk to individuals who actually embrace this lifestyle. And you’ll get to party at a local BDSM Club as well. If you’ve been writing or exploring D/s for a while, you’ll enjoy the various workshops and panel discussions for both authors and readers—helping you discover more possibilities both emotionally and physically.

Live with passion,

Dr. Charley Ferrer

 

 

A little about Dr. Charley Ferrer

She is a world renowned Clinical Sexologist and America’s BDSM Expert. She’s dedicated her live to helping others feel empowered and derive pleasure from their relationships. Doctor Charley conducts workshops throughout the US, Latina America, and recently China. She also provides online eCourses and webinars and hosts a private BDSM TeleSeminar & Group Forum for both authors and the general public. Visit her websites to learn more:

www.doctorcharley.com, www.bdsmforwriters.com and www.instituteofpleasure.org

Sorcha and Leia will be at BDSM CON 2014 with Dr. Charley and many other BDSM authors to provide a fun and educational weekend for writers and readers in NYC. We’re so excited for this event, next August, and hope you’ll consider going. The website to learn more is HERE.

siggyleia

Cari Silverwood – Unwrapped, Untangled, and Unsane

One of my cow rioters (aka co-writer) from this Badass Brats series, Leia Shaw, recently divulged some top secret info about herself on here, such as the fact that she likes to write almost naked in bed. I decided I should follow up with something like that. But I don’t write in my underwear. I have too many dogs on my bed to do that. Dog hair is itchy and migrates everywhere. I do write in Australia though and we have weird stuff like super deadly snakes, kangaroos, and our water goes down the drain the right way round, clockwise – the opposite to the way it goes in the US. No, I don’t have to fend off packs of ravenous creatures whenever I step out my door. But I do get to see and hear kookaburras laughing in the nearby gum trees most days, and the university near me has kangaroos and wallabies sunning themselves on the campus grounds.

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Yes, I am married. No, I don’t have anyone in my basement…unfortunately. Though some days I wonder if Klaus might like visit and bring one of his…friends. Alas, my neighbors aren’t keen on people screaming. My writing history is 9548419mixed. The Badass Brats series might be rom-com ménage with BDSM but before this I was writing a mish mash of historical BDSM and fantasy/ steampunk BDSM romance. If you want to attract me to an erotic story, give me an adventure plot and throw in some BDSM.

8199042Of course now I also know that Mff ménage with some in-depth f/f romance and sex will also get my pulse racing and my fingers typing. I blame my cow rioters for corrupting me. Ignore any protests from them. I, me, myself, was the poor innocent one. In a way this Badass Brats series is caught in the middle between my previous fantasy BDSM and my current liking for contemporary capture fantasy. Yes, I write dark erotica tales like Bind and Keep Me. I’ve always read them and I’ve discovered that writing them is even better. I get a bit twitchy when I see a plot approaching that I’ve done before and so romance, with its guaranteed smoochy ending with hearts floating through the air and swooning maidens is getting a little old right now.

I haven’t sworn off romance but juggling dubious consent stories in a way that still tends toward a happy ending is attracting me more. It’s not just the plot predictability that makes me prefer dubious consent stories. I mean, dammit, if the maidens have to swoon I’d much rather it be due to having their hair pulled as the hero drags them away to his cave/ dungeon/ tropical island with mod cons like floggers and canes and places to tie them to. I’m odd like that. All writers torture their characters, I just like doing it with more screams, more rope, more orgasms, and less consent. Excuse me, I have things to do, words to type, and people to hurt.

 

 

 

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Getting to Know You: Leia!

Since we’ve only just started the blog, I figured it might be nice to get to know us a little more. These are a few interview questions I’ve been asked in the past that I’m sharing here with you! Aren’t I so nice and caring? Mostly, I don’t have time to write a whole new topic right now. Shhh! Don’t tell my co-authors.

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What inspired you to become a writer?

The first romance book I ever read was Kresley Cole’s A Hunger Like No Other. Shortly after that, I devoured her Immortals After Dark series. I fell in love with paranormal romance – the sexy alpha males, the magic, the darkness. I had a very vivid dream about a sorceress who didn’t know she was a sorceress and when I woke up, I thought that would make a great book. I’ve always been a writer, even before I did it as a career so it wasn’t a big stretch for me to believe I could write a book. About six months after that dream, I had completed Destiny Divided. What started as one book has since turned into a seven book series. One through four are completed and available now. Book five is coming out on Halloween.

What type of romance do you write and why?

My Shadows of Destiny series is paranormal romance. I’m a little bit like a child in that magic and superpowers and mystical creatures makes me jump up and down with excitement. But I love writing kick-ass heroines and alpha heroes who challenge each other and ultimately grow to love to each other. I like my characters to struggle with the same issues we do as people – trust, hope, fear, intimacy. I hope my books send a powerful message to readers all while keeping you entertained with a hefty dose of humor and, of course, hot sex scenes.

My other series, the Badass Brats, is BDSM menage erotic romance. This is a fun way to explore and express the more, uh, naughty parts of my imagination. I’m a strong believer in sexual freedom. Women have been repressed for far too long, feeling like we don’t deserve orgasms or to have our needs met (whatever they may be) in the bedroom. For me, the Badass Brats is a way to say, it’s okay to be kinky. It’s okay to like pain, to want to be told what to do, to not want to be told what to do, to want to take control, to want to be tied up, to try a little of everything, etc. It doesn’t make you weird, or wrong, or sick, or anything negative at all. It just makes you human.

Who would you pick if you could have “Breakfast With the Author”?

Hmmm. That’s a hard one! Well, since Kresley Cole started me on this journey, I’d pick her. And ask her why she hasn’t written Lanthe and Thronos’ book yet! Lol.

Do you ever write naked?

No, but sometimes I write in my underwear. Mostly if I’m feeling lazy and want to write in bed. I hate wearing pants to bed for some reason. I feel all hot and uncomfortable. So if I’m writing in bed, I’m usually just in my underwear. Now you can picture that when I update my status that I’m writing. Lol.

You write tattoos into a lot of your books, do you have a little bit of a fetish?

I very much do! Mmmm. Tattoos. You could probably even say I’m an addict.

How much of your body is tattooed? And what are they?

Hmmm. Percentage wise? I’d say about…. Crap. I’m terrible at math. Well, I have a full sleeve on one arm and most of my lower leg done. Those are my big pieces. Then I have others scattered around my body here and there. So, yeah, kind of a lot. As for what they are, let’s see… a phoenix, a moon, several kinds of flowers, a koi fish, a few sayings, a peacock feather quill, more flowers, a kissing tree, a heart, a star of David, some symbols with secret meanings… Hmm. I think that’s it. Lol.

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Outline of my upper sleeve

Who’s the brattiest of the brats? 

Depends on the context. Sorcha’s got the dirtiest mind. Cari likes to stir up trouble the most. And I’m definitely the smartass of the bunch. So, we’re all bad in our own ways.

Just for fun – which do you prefer:

Cats or dogs? Definitely dogs.

Wake up early or stay up late? I’m fresher in the morning though I do like sleeping in.

Blonds or brunettes? I’ve been both and like being brunette better. For men, brunette because that’s what my husband is 😉

Hot weather or cold? Uhh, can’t I pick medium? Fall is my favorite time of year.

Do you have any gratuitous pictures of you and Sorcha you’d like to share?

Why yes I do! How did you know?!

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If you have any questions for me, Leia, I’ll be happy to answer in the comment below! Thanks for stopping by and happy reading, whatever it may be!

siggyleia